As I write this, I’m hoping to bring you something useful, something to ease your pain. But words sound hollow, and tears flow imagining the pain you must feel. My prayers go out to you all and to those you lost. Each child is precious. Each had their own unique way of being in the world. And each is fixed in your memory forever. Protect these memories. From them you’ll gain strength you never realized you had. Blessings, Barbara
PROTECT YOUR HOME AS A SAFE HAVEN You control your own environment, so let’s make home as healing as possible. Here are a few suggestions:
Give TV a rest. You’ll save your energy for positive acts of loving kindness, protect your children from the details and retelling this tragedy, and maintain an atmosphere of normalcy in your home. Make it a respite from everything going on beyond your doors or being broadcast on the news.
Take the advice of your child’s school counselor about answering your child’s questions. Nothing is more confusing for a child than to get several variations of what has happened and why. And try not to pressure children to talk about the tragedy. When ready, they’ll initiate the conversation. They need time to process the information they have and to grieve in their own way.
Spontaneous drawing is a gentle way for children – and adults – to express what they cannot put in words. Keep paper, crayons and colored pencils in many colors accessible. Resist analyzing the drawings. Simply ask the child if she/he would like to tell you about their picture. For some children, much will gush out. Others may draw little, which is all they’re ready to express. When ready, the child will seek you out. If your child wants to display the drawing(s) that’s fine. It’s also fine for them to keep the drawings private.
Keep track of these drawings. They tell a story and can be a valuable tool throughout your healing.
P.S. I believe each of us has a Guardian Angel. Know how your child’s Guardian Angel is with him/her at this time, giving precious care. These GA’s cross religious barriers so all are within their reach and their gentle embrace. B