“The Stopping Exercise”

Barbarah Fedoroff

Fear places us in the past, which is gone: Or in the future, which is not yet ours.

The exercise given to you by DKOT actually places you in the present moment. It shifts your attention to the object you chose to focus on which is now in your memory, where you can easily retrieve it. Now, even when the object itself isn’t with you, you can simply: 1. Close your eyes, 2. Breathe out gently three times and 3. See the image of your Focus Object in your hand. Examine it as previously instructed by DKOT. Then Stay With It for a long moment. 4. Breathe out one time and open your eyes.

By shifting your attention to the image of the object you shifted your attention away from fear. Without your attention the fear left.

EXPERIENCING HOW THIS STOPPING EXERCISE WORKS IN PUBLIC

Let’s say there was a bully who thought it was fun to mock you in the playground. Now you’re an adult standing with a group of friends at a party. You see the bully entering the room and feel the fear inching up on you. This could be a fight-or-flight situation. Or not! You’ve been practicing the DKOT exercise — but you ask yourself “what good does it do now that I’m not at home?” It does everything for you. Just do it! Please! You know what your focus object looks like: You have a memory of it in your mind from practicing. 1. Close your eyes, see, feel, sense and know your focus object is secure in your memory. 2. Calmly allow its image to come into your mind. 3. Examine it for a long moment. 4. Feel the fear leaving you. 5. When you sense the fear has gone, Gently breathe out one time and open your eyes!

Know now how you can control the fear at any moment from any place!

Rejoice, Barbarah

Note to someone who may be reading the exercise to you: Imagery works best when you pace it as if it was a conversation.

Less Is More In Imagery. Try Not To Stay In The Imagery For More Than 60 Seconds After the Image Has Appeared. (Repeat 3 X a day for the first three days, before breakfast, lunch and dinner.) To enhance the experience, draw a picture of your Imagery result and watch how it may change from day-to-day. I’ve used a spiral-bound notebook for this, drawing the pictures side-by-side.(I’ve found Imagery to be very forgiving. If you miss a session’s time, do it as soon as you can after you remember. The most important time, of course, is as soon as you feel a fear episode coming on. Try not to schedule your regular Imagery immediately after a meal, unless an episode is coming up.

P.S. DKOT is still hard at work. Move him along in his process by closing your eyes and sending him your best wishes.

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AYUDANDO A NIÑOS A PROCESAR LA TRAGEDIA DE UVALDE

Translation by Josefina Pellegrini

Mientras escribo esto, espero poder brindarle algo útil, algo para aliviar su dolor. Pero las palabras suenan vacías, y las lágrimas caen al imaginarme el dolor que sienten. Mis oraciones van para usted y para todos aquellos que hoy no están con nosotros. Cada niño es preciado. Cada uno tenia su manera única de vivir en este mundo. Y cada uno de ellos estará por siempre en tu memoria. Protege esos recuerdos. De esos recuerdos, vas a encontrar la fuerza que no supiste que tenias. Cariños, Barbara.

Cuida tu casa como un refugio. Usted controla su propio espacio, asique hagamos nuestro hogar un lugar sanador. Aqui hay algunas sugerencias:

Dejemos el televisor por un rato. Va a poder guardar su energía positiva para brindar actos de caridad y amor,y protegera a sus hijos de los detalles de esta tragedia y mantendrá un ambiente de normalidad en su hogar. Haga que su hogar sea un respiro de todo lo que sucede afuera de esas puertas o de todo aquellos que las noticias brindan. 

Escuche los consejos de los school counselors de sus hijos donde sugieren que le respondan las preguntas a sus hijos. Nada es más confuso para un niño que recibir diferentes versiones de lo que sucedió y el porque. E intente no presionar a su hijo a hablar sobre la tragedia. Cuando este listo, ellos iniciaran la conversación. Necesitan tiempo para procesar toda la información que tienen y digerirla a su manera. 

Dibujos espontáneos es una amable forma para los niños – y adultos – para expresar eso que no pueden poner en palabras. Tenga papeles, crayones, y lápices de colores accessibles. No trata de analizar los dibujos. Simplemente pídale a su hijo si el/ella quisiera contarle sobre aquel dibujo. Algunos niños, dibujaran mucho. Otros, quizás dibujan menos, lo cual esta bien, es todo lo que tienen para expresar. Cuando esten listos, el niño lo buscara. Si su hijo desea exponer sus dibujos, eso esta ok, y también bien esta ok si desean mantener sus dibujos de forma privada.

Guarde todos los dibujos de sus hijos. Todos ellos cuentan una historia y pueden ser de mucho valor durante su proceso de sanacion. 

Bendiciones, Barbarah

P.D.: Yo creo en que cada uno de nosotros tenemos un Angel de la Guarda. Sepan que el Angel de la Guarda de sus hijos esta con el/ella en este momento, dandole un atención especial. Estos Angeles de la Guarda traspasan cualquier religion haciéndolos accesibles a todos. 

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HELPING CHILDREN COPE WITH THE UVALDE TRAGEDY

As I write this, I’m hoping to bring you something useful, something to ease your pain. But words sound hollow, and tears flow imagining the pain you must feel. My prayers go out to you all and to those you lost. Each child is precious. Each had their own unique way of being in the world. And each is fixed in your memory forever. Protect these memories. From them you’ll gain strength you never realized you had. Blessings, Barbara

PROTECT YOUR HOME AS A SAFE HAVEN You control your own environment, so let’s make home as healing as possible. Here are a few suggestions:

Give TV a rest. You’ll save your energy for positive acts of loving kindness, protect your children from the details and retelling this tragedy, and maintain an atmosphere of normalcy in your home. Make it a respite from everything going on beyond your doors or being broadcast on the news.

Take the advice of your child’s school counselor about answering your child’s questions. Nothing is more confusing for a child than to get several variations of what has happened and why. And try not to pressure children to talk about the tragedy. When ready, they’ll initiate the conversation. They need time to process the information they have and to grieve in their own way.

Spontaneous drawing is a gentle way for children – and adults – to express what they cannot put in words. Keep paper, crayons and colored pencils in many colors accessible. Resist analyzing the drawings. Simply ask the child if she/he would like to tell you about their picture. For some children, much will gush out. Others may draw little, which is all they’re ready to express. When ready, the child will seek you out. If your child wants to display the drawing(s) that’s fine. It’s also fine for them to keep the drawings private.

Keep track of these drawings. They tell a story and can be a valuable tool throughout your healing.

Blessings, Barbarah

P.S. I believe each of us has a Guardian Angel. Know how your child’s Guardian Angel is with him/her at this time, giving precious care. These GA’s cross religious barriers so all are within their reach and their gentle embrace. B

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Message For You From DKOT

It’s All About Overcoming Fear

He’s still working on it, making sure it meets his literary standards as well as his witty delivery.

I’m not as witty as DKOT is…

…but when he asked me to work on this project with him, I knew it could change lives. Everyone deserves to experience well-being! Sometimes help arrives when and where you least expect it. Embrace it: It’s a gift from the universe. A gift you’ve no doubt earned.

While you’re meeting the challenge by using the process, know we’re eager for you to succeed — to know how it is to overcome fear and live without it stealing precious moments from you. Stick with it!

One of us will be back in two weeks or less. (Just sayin!), Barbara

P.S. In the meantime, if you didn’t get around to answering the questions in the last post, please take a few minutes now. Just write down the number of the question and your answer. Then e-mail it to barbfed@ptd.net. Your feedback is important!

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TO ALL THOSE WHO RECEIVED

THE OVERCOMING OF FEAR PREVIEW MATERIAL

Hi! DKOT’S book, It’s All About Overcoming Fear, is making progress. He’s now asking if you’d like to help someone else living with fear by commenting on the (4) questions below. Shy about sharing your experiences in public? Not a problem. You can send your reply in total privacy and request we do not use your full name.

(1) How many times have you used the Overcoming Fear exercise each week? _____

(2) When you used the exercise, did it relieve your fear? _____Yes _____No

If you answered No, do you plan to use it next time? _____Yes _____No

If no, was it because there was not enough privacy in most places to do the exercise? _____

or _____I stopped thinking about it.

(3) How are those who know you’re doing the exercise reacting

_____Supportive _____Skeptical _____Ignoring what you’re doing


Let’s take a few minutes to discover how it is from the other side: Watching someone experience fear as it expresses itself

I was at lunch with a colleague when I first observed the onset of his fear. At the time I had no idea what was happening. Everything seemed usual until a remoteness came over him and all the joy on his face changed. It was as if he was guarding against something I couldn’t see. Something invisible.

Within a few seconds or minutes — I really don’t know because it was as if time stopped — he pushed his chair back from the table, his posture taking on a leisurely casualness. It could be how relaxing — or even mimicking relaxation — helped him get through an episode. I do remember thinking whatever had occurred was over, until I saw the sadness was still in his eyes. He then asked for a check and we left the restaurant.

The drive back was silent, then general conversation. When I look back on that day, I lost an opportunity to learn more about what he had experienced. Not a good judgement on my part. And he didn’t open the conversation. Were years of potential healing missed? Perhaps. But for as long as there’s a now, there’s time. Be a risk taker. Ask the hard questions!

KNOWING OF YOUR EXPERIENCE CAN BE ALL IT TAKES FOR A READER TO CONTACT DKOT AND RECEIVE THE INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE EXERCISE. PLEASE REPLY!

Blessings, Barbara

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Remembering Eve On Mothers Day: May 8, 2022

“The Fall is really the birth of humankind.
Yes, humankind caused the currant of guilt and atonement into the world,
but it is not an abortive creation of God;
Human beings fulfilled their purpose
— at enormous cosmic risk —
of making possible within themselves
the encounter between good and evil
so evil might be overcome.” St. Thomas Aquinas, Aquinas’ Shorter Summa, Pg 217-226

This quote shines a light on Eve, sacrificing herself through The Fall to save her children from harm. In Christ and Sophia we read how”At the Fall the immaculate astral nature of Eve received the spiritual being worshipped in Egypt as the Goddess Isis and in the Christian Church today as the Mother of God, Queen of Heaven. In the previous study, we spoke of her as the Sophia,”

St.Thomas Aquinas reminds us how two other significant realities impacted mortal beings at The Fall: The virtues inclining us toward righteousness were rescinded at the same time mortal beings were exposed to Earth’s polarity. This required mortal beings, for the first time, to choose between good and evil without a natural inclination to choose good.

Eve’s action was a necessary step if we were to realize our full potential. It’s our challenge to rise above the pull of polarity with its limitations of yes/no thinking — to see the benefit of asking “what if” opening us to the endless possibilities awaiting us. This is our gift as beings made in the Image and Likeness of God.

Another gift bolstered our opportunities. The lost virtues were regained by Jesus’ at his baptism in the Jordan River. Since then we’ve had the benefit of being inclined to righteousness through wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety and fear of the Lord.

We’ll learn more about Eve when we focus on The Feminine Trinity of mother, daughter and holy soul in a few weeks.

Blessings To All Mothers and Those Who Step In For Them, Barbara

P.S. Remember to sing a song to lighten the minds and hearts of the Ukraine people. They have an instinctive heart resonance with music.

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A Conversation Between Me, Myself and “The New” WordPress.com Blog Program

Oh how comfortable it is to know some things remain the same. But there are times, like this, when change becomes essential. I’ve struggled over this as I faced the new WordPress.com Blog Program. Mind Resistance What if that’s not quite the program”s name? (Pushback) So what!

Mind Resistance But I don’t get a sense of the program’s whole picture. Push Back “There are times when seeing the whole picture is a hindrance. It can be overwhelming.”

“This morning I got up with the mindset of changing my approach. Mind Resistance: “Maybe I should have breakfast first.” Pushback: “You already had breakfast.” Mind Resistance: “Who was this nudging me to sit down for a few minutes and know from gazing at the screen how to take advantage of this new program.” Pushback: “Me!” Mind Resistance: It’s starring me in the face. Push Back: So what!” Then I had a flash! What could possibly be keeping me locked in place? I’ve had good support when stuck. Knowing that should be enough. The worst thing that could happen is Mind Resistance: I might lose my copy. Push Back You haven’t even typed yet.

More Mind Resistance: What if I lose this copy? Pushback: Try it. And even after hitting Preview, the blue box near the upper right corner of the screen (the demon I dared not touch) my copy was intact.

Blessings, Barbara

P.S. Thanks to those who got me over this hurdle.

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Celebrating Easter, April 17, 2022

Easter is a remembrance of Jesus dying on a cross to atone for the errors of mortal beings. It also celebrates how through His birth, death and resurrection, we regained the virtues given us at birth. These are wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety and fear of the Lord. They incline us toward making righteous decisions — decisions in alignment with our true purpose.

What a powerful spiritual circle: the incarnation of the Son of God as the mortal being Jesus; his life, death and resurrection dedicated to atoning for our errors; and through His atonement, the reinstatement of the virtues inclining us toward righteous decisions.

Over time several blogs and blog booklets which focus on Lent, Palm Sunday and Easter have been published here. Some include Imagery complete with a Click and Listen feature, as well as a written narrative of the Imagery. Whichever you choose, know both focus on the spiritual events of this season. You’ll find them in the “Index” to the right, printed in purple.

(You have options on how you use the Click and Listen audio feature: If you want to keep it handy, record the Imagery onto your cell phone or other device.)

Blessings, Barbara

P.S. A reminder to Sing a Song to travel on the wings of angels, strengthening and honoring the Ukraine people. Don’t be shy: Ask others to sing along with you.

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Palm Sunday: Preparing Us For Easter 2022

Mary Anoints Jesus Feet

It’s six days before the Passover, where Lazarus was whom Jesus had raised from the dead. Martha, Lazarus’ sister, waited on them and he was among those at the table. Mary, her sister, also known as Mary Magdalene, brought in a pound of very costly ointment, pure nard. With it she anointed the feet of Jesus, wiping them with her hair. The house was filled with the scent of the ointment when Judas Iscariot, one of the disciples — the man who would betray Jesus — arrived. “Why was the ointment not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?” It’s noted in the scripture he said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was in charge of the common fund and helped himself to the contents.” Jesus replied, “Leave her alone, let her keep it for the day of my burial. You have the poor with you always, you will not have me.” Then Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem.

As he approached the city the townspeople went out to greet him with branches of palm shouting Hosanna! Blessed is he coming in the name of the Lord. The King of Israel.

Blessing, Barbara

Don't forget to "Sing a Song." Let music from our voices ride on the wings of angels filling the hearts of the Ukraine people during this devastating time.

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It’s All About Overcoming Fear: A Perfect Mothers Day Gift Or For Anyone Experiencing Fear!

Unwilling to accept his own fear any longer, and before tapping the keys on his computer, this author did his own research, had it scientifically validated, and has a soon-to-be published book about his discoveries. The answer he’s come upon is so simple it’s elegant. Perceptions are at the root of fear. And they can rear their heads at unexpected times. But where is this fear coming from? With no invitation from us, our minds are busy gathering bits of memories which come into our minds unexpectedly. These are perceptions. It’s best you hear what the author has to say about this.

“We do not perceive what is, but rather what is not, because our universe is comprised of unique concepts undetectable to anyone but ourselves. I can point to a chair and say “chair” and I can have you sit in it, but the object generates different concepts in your mind than it does in mine, so I cannot show you my experience of it.” DKOT

The author’s light and often humorous touch of these life-altering findings makes for an enjoyable as well as informative read. If you’ve experienced fear and anxiety yourself, you’ll be encouraged by what he has to say. If not, you’ll become aware of how debilitating fear and anxiety are for others.

I tried Perception and am astounded at how it delivered results in just a few minutes. Give it a try. Right now. What’s a few minutes to improve your life?

Close your eyes for a couple of seconds. Open them…reach out… and pick up an object you can comfortably hold in your hand.

Examine it carefully for four-five seconds and then

Keeping the image of the item in your mind, put it back in its original place.

Next recall the object, seeing as many details as emerge without effort.

Now take a breath and notice how you feel.

My experience was lightness. Others have remarked how they began the exercise when they were feeling anxious and felt a calmness at its conclusion. It’s all good news I’m happy to share with you.

To learn more about Perception before the book is released, go to dkot@wordpress.com.

Blessings, Barbara

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